Three is Company
by River Laren
Summary: Batman doesn't get upset. Ever. That is until the mysterious "Batgirl" comes on the scene. Now something out of the ordinary seems to be bothering Bruce. Maybe it's Dick playing evil matchmaker. Maybe. CRACK Older Batgirl


**A/N: So I saw this corny old Batman tv show, and it gave me the idea of a pairing between an older Batgirl and Batman. I couldn't help myself after that. I guess I should have tracked down the tv show and written a fic on it, but I wanted to bring in the Team/Robin aspect as one of the major points, so let just pretend here, okay? Warning: CRACK.**

Dick Grayson was trying to keep a straight face as he watched Bruce storm across the room and back again. He called it "pacing". Any moment now Dick fully expected to see the floor fall in thanks to the steel boots "Batman" was wearing; like in that Rumpelstiltskin story or something.

But it didn't. Not yet.

Bruce began to rant. "She gets there just when we need her, when we turn around, she's gone. She knows stuff before _I _do. She even saved _us_ from the Joker last week! But she won't contact us or-"

Dick couldn't help laughing. Hearing Bruce Wanye say something childish like that was absurd. Big mistake. He should've helped.

Bruce whirled around in a millisecond, the cape he had forgotten floating out behind him like a cloud of doom. Dick gulped; a fact he hoped his "Dad" didn't notice. Even after knowing him all these years, Bruce could still be frightening when he wanted. Terrifying actually.

"_And what do _you_ think is so amusing?" _Bruce's hiss brought him back to the present.

Dick straightened his face with Robin precision, his mind racing. He couldn't exactly say, '_the fact that you're so worked up about this chick',_ because he didn't want to die without getting a driver's license. Not that it mattered (he still drove anything he wanted as Robin anyway), but it was the principal of the thing. A date wouldn't be bad either. Dick had to make this excuse good; exceptional reasoning and everything as well.

"You're upset with "Batgirl" for doing the same thing we are; just because you're not in on it. It's pretty ironic if you think about it." Okay, maybe that wasn't the best thing to say for self-preservation, but hey, Bruce needed to hear it. Besides, Dick could take him. Hopefully.

Batman paused a moment in his rampage.

Well, if meant they could fix this without smashing anything…. "You know, I think there's something deeper going on here than you being prejudiced against another hero." Dick inwardly smirked. Those diplomacy/business classes must have been good for something after all. _I should totally be a councilor… _

Then Bruce exploded. "She's using _my _reputation! She has stolen my _name_! This isn't just some new vigilante. This is- it's _personal_!"

_... or not_. "So you're ticked because you think you know this person and they apparently know you, but they haven't discussed the whole new team member thing with you 'cause they know you'll say "no". Basically they've just offended your pride and curiosity. That's what you're so upset about?" Again Dick had to suppress a smile. Batman ruffled and raging was an oxymoron, to say the least.

"_Exactly!" _He roared. _You have to give him points for honesty. _

"And it would happen to extend from the fact that you are…_attracted_ to this mysterious woman?" Dick wasn't quite sure where that came from, but Batman's hesitation and slight embarrassment made it worth the risk. He sat up on the couch and covered his mouth with his fist to trap in the cackle he felt coming.

Even with the mask he could tell Bruce's eyes narrowed. "What is _that _supposed to mean?"

The "Robin instinct" had struck a _sensitive_ nerve. The cackle escaped despite himself. "Oh wow. You've got it that bad huh?"

Bats heated up like a teapot. Just before he boiled over he seemed to remember himself. "Room. Now."

Dick went upstairs in stitches. "Whatever you say, Romeo." He winced at the crash behind him. Bruce would regret that in the morning. But until then it was up to the Boy Wonder to unmask this mysterious woman before Batman, because then he could hang it over his head for forever.

He grinned at the events his imagination conjured up. If it was anything like today it would be totally "aster". Dick had never seen Bruce get this worked up about _anything_ before. Another glass vase or something crashed into the wall. If he could have this much fun teasing him about it now, just wait until he knew her identity. Then he could work up the stone man whenever the Love Birds met as "normal" people. Not to mention the Big Reveal. Dick grinned wickedly and stretched his fingers. _Totally "aster" indeed._

**I had a lot of fun writing this, so if feedback is favorable I will continue. Again: yes, I know that Batgirl is really quite a bit younger than Bruce. But use your imaginations, people! And review. Reviews are nice. **


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